


Pressure in Heart & Soul

by legendsofsleep



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 312 coda, Breakfast in Bed, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Morning Scene, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 16:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16538030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendsofsleep/pseuds/legendsofsleep
Summary: What probably won’t happened in 312 but we can dream, I suppose.Based off the malec sneak peek for 3B.





	Pressure in Heart & Soul

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t write a lot of fanfics, so if this isn’t like top notch the best thing your eyes have ever seen it’s because it’s also one AM and all I’ve been doing is writing papers and avoiding other college work and somehow I ended up here. Enjoy! Also 111 days until Shadowhunters 3B!!

Even though it had been about two days, he still felt the pressure. The light pressure of something sinking into his skin, puncturing a hole, and all the pain that came with it. Both physical and emotional, he felt it all pressuring into his chest. Despite that pressure, he knows he shouldn’t be in bed. They had to look for Clary, and possibly Johnathan, although even he didn’t quite understand the situation either. 

But Catarina told him to rest as she healed him. Izzy told him to rest as she held him and told him how great he was doing. Jace didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. Magnus held his hand and told him to rest after giving him a kiss on his forehead. Magnus. If there was anyone else who felt that same pressure Alec was feeling right now, it would be Magnus. The pressure is different though, a lot less physical than Alec’s healing wound. Magnus’ pressure had come deep within himself. The pressure of wanting to use your magic but knowing it’s no longer there. He wanted to hold him, to hold him and let him know that they could figure something out. Alec didn’t know how they were going to do it. Maybe it was because he still felt weary and bruised from the last two days. Maybe he should sleep on it some more and come up with a plan. 

As he turned to his side and shut his eyes, Alec heard the door creak open and light footsteps. He turned around and opened his eyes to see Magnus, already dressed up, holding a tray with a red rose. Alec sat up and stared as Magnus walked towards him, placing the tray near him. 

“Is today a special occasion?” Alec asked, slightly tilting his head back, as if he was examining Magnus.

“It’s your day off”, Magnus took a seat next to him, “And I want to make the most of it”, and pushed the tray slightly towards Alec, displaying his unpainted nails. 

So Magnus was handling change like he usually would. Shoving it as far down as possible and putting on a smile. Distracting himself by helping other people fix their problems before paying attention to himself. Even as Alec pouted towards him and gave him a look, Magnus still didn’t falter.

“That’s actually really sweet”. Alec looked up at Magnus, who hummed and shrugged. 

“I thought so”. 

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes. Magnus knew that at this point, Alec could see right through him, but old habits die hard and he had barely processed what his father did to him and what actually entailed. If only he had the courage to end his parabatai’s suffering, maybe the love of his life wouldn’t be suffering right at this moment. 

“I know what you’re doing”, Magnus broke the silence, looking everywhere else but at Alec. “I chose this. I didn’t know Asmodeus would be asking for my magic specifically, but if that’s the price I have to pay for you to live, I’m okay with that”. 

“So what, I’m supposed to just sit here and pretend like this isn’t hurting you? And that in a way, it’s because of me?” Alec yelled, gripping the golden sheets and staring directly at his boyfriend, waiting for a response. It didn’t come. So, he hung his head down and stared at his own hands, one still healing from previous injuries. He shouldn’t yell, Alec knows that. He knows Magnus is trying to heal, in his own strange way, it’s how he needs to process things. Nonetheless, it hurts.

Magnus turns to Alec and places a hand on his and sighs. “No matter what we tell each other, there will be some sort of guilt. I know that I don’t blame you, but you need to know that too. As for my magic, I’ve come to believe that I don’t have as much time as I once had to dwell on guilt and what ifs. I just want you to be okay, that’s all I’ll ever care about.” 

Alec looked up to see Magnus staring back at him with a small smile. He knows that this problem is far from over. Alec also knows that he will do everything in his power to give Magnus his magic back. He’ll crawl through all of Edom for Magnus if necessary. For now though, he will stay in bed.

“Will you eat with me?” Alec asked, patting the empty space next to him. Magnus chuckled and nodded. Before shifting, he took the hand that was resting on Alec’s hand and moved the messy hair away from Alec’s forehead, before giving him a kiss and staying like that for a couple of seconds. Alec shut his eyes and sighed. 

They both still felt immense pressure on their chests, both physical and emotional. As always though, they had each other do alleviate those pressures, and magic or no magic, they wouldn’t trade that for anything.


End file.
